If it walks like a turkey, talks like a turkey and looks like a turkey, it must be a turkey.

Praise the Lord and pass the cranberries, this year’s turkey dinner guest list is the envy of every holiday hostess in the Year of the Coronavirus.

FYI: Masks required. Physical distancing strongly suggested. Gobble, gobble? The Coronavirus Police (CP) will be working undercover.

That being said, and in the spirit of the season, the Neil O. Nelson 2020 Turkey Guest List includes, not surprising, some old friends, some of the same old and tired deadbeats, plus a handful of the crowd that made the news this year, thanks in no small part to the recent wild and crazy presidential election.

RSVPs requested.

Turkeys invited to the Neil O. Nelson Turkey Extravaganza this year includes the following:

COOKED TURKEYS: President Donald J, Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.

BROASTED TURKEY: President-Elect Joe Biden.

MASKED TURKEY: Gov. Doug Burgum.

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