Sockless all summer – a remarkable feat

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Posted: Friday, July 13, 2018 6:41 am

I haven’t worn socks in more than two months. Thank you. Hold your applause.

I’m pretty proud of this remarkable feat, which also happens to be a personal record.

A number of factors contributed to this momentous and historic streak.

First, it’s been a billion degrees every day in Hillsboro this summer.

Walking outside, crumpling under the sweltering sun and crawling inside my air-conditioned house would be harder if I was burdened by the weight of socks.

Second, I’m working on my foot tan.

After two months being sans socks, I am happy to report that my freckled Scandinavian skin now resembles the color of a dull peach.

I’m practically ready to guest star in a “Baywatch” remake.

Of course, that’s probably as tan as my feet will ever get, unless I get arrested and forced to work on a chain gang by a crooked sheriff in Georgia. Again.

And, third, I’ve decided to rewrite my own office dress code at the Banner this summer.

For more, see the Banner's online or print edition.

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