Spending time with my wife and the KGB

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Posted: Friday, June 22, 2018 6:37 am

My wife and I have been spending more time together the past few weeks.

And it’s all thanks to a dead woman stuffed into a suitcase by the KGB.

Well, that’s sort of accurate anyway.

Alyssa and I don’t watch a tremendous amount of television together.

If the show isn’t a cartoon or doesn’t include sports or Harry Potter, I’m probably not interested.

Conversely, Alyssa spends her evenings and weekends glued to shows dedicated to cooking, incredibly snobby people picking out wedding dresses in Atlanta and HGTV’s efforts to help a Vermont couple pick out a new apartment in Belgium. 

“Say Yes to the Dress” and “House Hunters” will be the downfall of mankind, mark my words.

Normally, our diverse interest in television isn’t a deal-breaker in our household.

We have a living room and den equipped with flat screens on opposite sides of the house, so we retreat to our respective corners and wave to one another on occasion.

But, every once in a blue moon, we get hooked on the same television show.

That’s what happened when Alyssa started watching “The Americans” a few weeks ago.

The FX drama series follows the lives of a pair of married Russian spies living as Americans in Washington, D.C., during the Cold War era in the early 1980s.

The show recently wrapped up its sixth and final season and stars Matthews Rhys as Phillip Jennings and Keri Russell of “Felicity” fame as his wife, Elizabeth.

Phillip and Elizabeth have two children, Paige and Henry, live next to FBI agent Stan Beeman and spend most of their lives changing in and out of disguises trying to follow the commands of “The Centre,” a faceless Russian intelligence agency.

Created by former CIA agent Joe Weisberg, the period drama does a great job of weaving real TV footage and snippets of former President Reagan into the fictional timeline of the show.

That attention to detail adds a gripping realism to the show, although sometimes it’s too real.

Want to know what sounds a body makes when people shoot you, break all your bones and stuff your corpse into a suitcase to slip quietly out of a hotel? 

I have a show for you.

Disclaimer, this show isn’t for kids.

Those cagey Russian spies are not above seducing a Defense Department official or an overworked FBI secretary to blackmail or pry information from them.

And, in what can only be described as some kind of statistical anomaly, “The Americans” cannot get more than one or two seconds into a sex scene before my 8-year-old son casually strolls into the room.

Seriously, he could be riding around the block on his bike or in Woodland Park and the second someone ditches their knickers in the show my kid magically teleports into the room.

“Whatcha watching?”

It’s to the point now that my wife keeps her trigger finger over the fast-forward button any time an actor hands someone a glass of wine on the show.

We’re like cops at a crime scene.

“Move along, move along. Nothing to see here.”

Our days with Phillip and Elizabeth are numbered, of course.

We’re binge-watching the series on Amazon or Netflix, I forget which, and we’re currently in season four of the six-season drama.

So our days following their exploits are coming to an end.

The series aired its final episode May 30, and so far we’ve done a great job avoiding spoilers about the fate of the Jennings family.

Will the FBI finally catch them?

Will they flee back to Russia before Beeman catches on that his next-door neighbors have a secret spy lair in their basement filled with a thousand wigs?

Will my wife and I make it through a single episode without my son seeing people disrobe on fast-forward?

At this point, we honestly don’t know.

But that’s half the fun of tuning in every night while we binge-watch the show.

And sharing it with your wife, well, that’s twice as fun.

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